Posted by
Rick Bernico on Saturday, January 31, 2009 3:25:37 AM
As I sit here eating shrimp cooked in I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, I can't help but think of the irony of my actions. I am writing a blog to get my opinions out into the multi-verse, not knowing if anyone will read my blogs nor even care if I blog at all. Not only that, I don't know nothing. At least I don't profess to be an intellectual nor a thinker nor a blinker. I just know that I want to get my opinions out for anyone to try and trash me.
I drive around all day in my taxi cab listening to talk radio and sometimes my head feels like it's going to explode! I totally appreciate and welcome the diverse conservative opinions and respect each host as much as I possibly could; but, nonetheless, I want to ring all of their necks. If it wasn't for talk radio, I wouldn't be thinking as clearly as I am now. If it wasn't for talk radio, I wouldn't understand the precarious precipice our country is perched upon. If it wasn't for talk radio, I wouldn't have realize how much of a crap-head I was and how I almost squandered my life. THANKS A LOT, TALK RADIO.
Oh and my poor riders. Sometimes they don't know what they're getting into should they decide to voice some political opinion. It's not as if I'm trying to instigate them or anything with talk radio blaring in the background. One night I picked up an AARP lobbyist from a banquet and drove her to her hotel. When I asked her why AARP did not support the privatization of social security she started rattling off every single Democrat talking point. I was amazed how quickly they rolled off of her tongue in response to my question. It was as if she had memorized them so well that if you woke her up in the middle of the night she would absent-mindedly state them while half asleep.
The poor woman never knew what hit her. I vowed, after I dropped her off, that I would really take it easy on my riders from that point on. I've been a good boy ... for the most part.
Where was I before I rudely interupted myself? Oh yeah, THANKS A LOT, TALK RADIO.
To me, listening to talk radio is the same thing as looking into the Mirror of Truth in which anyone who sees their own reflection learns the truth about himself or herself. I always knew that I had an uncanny sense of what was right, or more effective, what was not quite right; but, listening to the talk radio mirror that I saw my reflection in [?????] made me focus that uncanny sense on myself and my life. It all became so clear to me: I was a total screw-up and crap-head. Holy cow, what a revelation! I saw all my bad points and all the bad decisions that I had made throughout my life. I don't think the TRMirror allowed me to miss a single bad point or bad decision throughout my entire life. It was if I was replaying a DVD in my mind over and over and over. THANKS A LOT, TALK RADIO.
The good news is, I'm still young enough (relatively, anyway) to conquer the world and build my own empire. I have no idea how I will do that nor do I think I am smart enough to figure out the difference between a profit statement and toilet paper. But I'm going to do it anyway, despite the overwhelming Marxism marching on Washington. Heck, I could claim that I have ADD (who knows, I probably do), that I am a minority (Spanish but I could pass for Mexican, I'm sure), that I am a disabled veteran and that I am a victim of the big, bad establishment.
But I won't. I will just eat my shrimp cooked in I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, drive my taxi cab and be nice to my riders, and build my empire. I've learned a lot about myself and the political world and I realize that I can't sit on my butt anymore and live in a lala world. Thanks a lot, talk radio.